Life, At Best

The Eli Young Band has a song called "Life At Best" and today I'm going to play it as soon as I find my iPod and headphones (I scratched the poor little CD, *tear).

Why? Well, cause sometimes, life sucks. I get depressed easily and I have to work on being positive all the time. I also panic and overwhelm myself a LOT.

I know this from four months of therapy; normally, the counselors stop at eight appointments or send you off to mental health for shrinking. At four months, though, I was judged as ready to tackle my life with my newly-learned skills. It's been a year since I started seeing my counselor, approximately. Her name was Leanne and she had the neatest office decorations. Plenty to look at when I didn't want to look at her. She had to teach me how to talk, and I'll be forever grateful. I'm still practicing, and sometimes things are hard to deal with.

I have gotten a lot better at not bottling things up or ranting myself down a rabbit hole; I've also begun to be mindful of when I panic and blow everything out of proportion and perspective. I am still learning to take a step back and re-evaluate right away.

I'm on the upswing of a down time. Everything is changing around all the time, and I can blame my own choices for some of that, but other things I can't control. In my humble and not-bitter-at-all opinion, sometimes you don't need to change everything the minute you walk in the door. Or one problem doesn't need to change the way things are done.

I'm a Marine; this happens all the time. I'm also very slow to adapt to changes that I don't like. Why should I spend 20 minutes of a task on administrative work, like logging it into 8 different trackers when there is a known system of ONE tracker that's worked for months? But the new person-in-charge always knows better than the current system, always, which is retarded. A need for evaluation does not mean there will be a need for change.

Speaking of ranting down a rabbit hole, my point was that the song I mentioned above has lyrics that are speaking to me right now as I adjust and figure out all the new scheduling and planning I have to do!